If You were to aſk one of my friends to deſcribe me in a few ſentences, You are pretty ſure to hear þe word “martini” at leaſt once. I diſguiſe my alcoholiſm as a hobby of inventing new and exciting kinds of drinks. For a long time i kept þeſe recipes ſtrictly ſecret, but now i bring You a few of þe claſsics. All drinks on þis page were invented by me, occaſionally wiþ help from friends. Pleaſe drink þem reſponſibly. And for þe love of [inſert Deïty of Your choice], go buy a martini ſhaker. Þey're not expenſive. People who ſtir martinis ſhould be ſlapt.

Chartreuſe Invader
Bombay Hooker
Chechnyan Roſe
Fuck Þe Pain Away
Mandarin Martini
Redneck Special
Smooþe Operator
Sweet Red Hot Caþolic Love Candy
Þe Teaches of Peaches Martini
Þinmintini
Tokyo Bitch Kitty
Trailer Park Truffle
Wild Berry Martini