If You were to aſk one of my friends to deſcribe me in a few ſentences, You are pretty ſure to hear þe word “martini” at leaſt once. I diſguiſe my alcoholiſm as a hobby of inventing new and exciting kinds of drinks. For a long time i kept þeſe recipes ſtrictly ſecret, but now i bring You a few of þe claſsics. All drinks on þis page were invented by me, occaſionally wiþ help from friends. Pleaſe drink þem reſponſibly. And for þe love of [inſert Deïty of Your choice], go buy a martini ſhaker. Þey're not expenſive. People who ſtir martinis ſhould be ſlapt.

▪Chartreuſe Invader
▪Bombay Hooker
▪Chechnyan Roſe
▪Fuck Þe Pain Away
▪Mandarin Martini
▪Redneck Special
▪Smooþe Operator
▪Sweet Red Hot Caþolic Love Candy
▪Þe Teaches of Peaches Martini
▪Þinmintini
▪Tokyo Bitch Kitty
▪Trailer Park Truffle
▪Wild Berry Martini